So...yeah. I've started going to this free mental health clinic in my area. I've had a few meetings with my case manager, and today I went to see a Doctor, and he prescribed me antidepressants. And...yeah.
...Okay, so, like, I asked to go. It's this free clinic that my parents have been going to for years now. And, basically, I've been really unhappy for, well, quite a while now, so at some point i told my parents that I wanted to go. And...again, yeah.
And...and to be honest, I am glad I am getting help, because I do have issues, and no matter how much I like to convince myself they aren't bad enough, I do need help. It's just...well, the entire experience feels just really alienating. :/
It's just...weird, you know? The whole thing feels just super duper fucking weird, an I keep trying to find someone to talk to besides my dad, but nobody ever responds to my texts unless I'm asking them to a movie or something. (and the vast majority of the time, not even then.) And the one person who usually does respond is not someone I'm close enough to to be comfortable talking about emotional stuff with.
And, in the rare moments when somebody does respond, I just...like, most of my friends are busy, I get that. It's summer, theyve got vacations to go on and school plans to make and other friends who can actually drive and live close by and have money on them... and I just...
This entire thing is just making me feel really lonely. Like, I get that I'm no perfect friend myself, and I do sometimes require a lot of alone time, but... I'm really trying to find some support, because I'm really nervous, and I'm really scared and confused and I feel like it'd be a lot easier just if I could have someone around that didn't seem annoyed by me, and just...there's really nobody there. And...well, it sucks. It really sucks, and I don'tr really think here's anything I can do about it except sit around by myself and wallow and hope to god that these antidepressants take effect sometime soon, cause hopefully that'll at least take the edge off.