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About Literature / Hobbyist Kate18/Other/United States Groups :icononeyearbucketlist: OneYearBucketList
One year to do five things.
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Deviant for 5 Years
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Statistics 141 Deviations 2,486 Comments 8,763 Pageviews

Newest Deviations


there is gonna be a BIG variety when im done


fireheart613 has started a donation pool!
20 / 400
5 points: I will give you a stupid nickname based on what I see on your profile.

10-20 points: I will write a shitty haiku about you.

21-30 points: Random funny poem for you and only you.

31+: I will draw you. in MS Paint. It shall be the worst thing you have ever seen.

Literally all this is for is so I can change my username. Seriously. I came up with it when I was, like, twelve, and now I hate it, and I would be much obliged if somebody would assist me in affording to change it.

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I am not the person I was at thirteen years old.
Good God, I feel so old.
Tonight is a night where I am hollow.
(I said "Never again")
I am chaotic.
(I sobbed and I spoke and I swore)
Tonight I am vast and swirling and raging and
("It will never happen again.")
Tonight is a night
When there is blood on my thighs
And smoke in my lungs.
(I lied.)
They're taking my grandma off life support today. I need out of this god damn house.
So...yeah. I've started going to this free mental health clinic in my area. I've had a few meetings with my case manager, and today I went to see a Doctor, and he prescribed me antidepressants. And...yeah.

...Okay, so, like, I asked to go. It's this free clinic that my parents have been going to for years now. And, basically, I've been really unhappy for, well, quite a while now, so at some point i told my parents that I wanted to go. And...again, yeah. 

And...and to be honest, I am glad I am getting help, because I do have issues, and no matter how much I like to convince myself they aren't bad enough, I do need help. It's just...well, the entire experience feels just really alienating. :/ 

It's just...weird, you know? The whole thing feels just super duper fucking weird, an I keep trying to find someone to talk to besides my dad, but nobody ever responds to my texts unless I'm asking them to a movie or something. (and the vast majority of the time, not even then.) And the one person who usually does respond is not someone I'm close enough to to be comfortable talking about emotional stuff with. 

And, in the rare moments when somebody does respond, I, most of my friends are busy, I get that. It's summer, theyve got vacations to go on and school plans to make and other friends who can actually drive and live close by and have money on them... and I just...

This entire thing is just making me feel really lonely. Like, I get that I'm no perfect friend myself, and I do sometimes require a lot of alone time, but... I'm really trying to find some support, because I'm really nervous, and I'm really scared and confused and I feel like it'd be a lot easier just if I could have someone around that didn't seem annoyed by me, and just...there's really nobody there. And...well, it sucks. It really sucks, and I don'tr really think here's anything I can do about it except sit around by myself and wallow and hope to god that these antidepressants take effect sometime soon, cause hopefully that'll at least take the edge off.
  • Listening to: Wind.
  • Reading: A Clash Of Kings
  • Watching: Scrubs
  • Playing: Super Mario World
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I will become the world's first queer, autistic, afab gender fluid president. Wait, actually, that sounds kind of hard. Okay, yeah, I'm going to be a super villain instead! MWAHAHAHAHA!

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Add a Comment:
Crazypopcornlover Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hey honey, how have you been? :D It's been a while. I wanted to check up~
Crazypopcornlover Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh shoot, I think I'm late, but...
Happy Birthday! :XD:

:iconbrohugplz: May you have many more!
(1 Reply)
Shellyness Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello agaaain~!

Happy Birthday! :D

:iconcakeplz: :iconyuihugplz: :iconcakeplz:
Shellyness Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello agaaain~!

Happy Birthday! :D

:iconcakeplz: :iconyuihugplz: :iconcakeplz:
(1 Reply)
Shellyness Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh! Thank you for the watch also! :)

MemoScribblez Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist


guess who~

im the purrson you met


(1 Reply)
BookwormPlushieLover Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the :iconllamaspinplz:!
Todd-the-Foxx Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconpervykankriplz: thanks for the fave on part 2!
Todd-the-Foxx Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconpervykankriplz: thanks for the fave!
(1 Reply)
Joey-Shan Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Happy birthday~!
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: